Monthly Archives: January 2012

REVIEW: SHORT ORDER

The Grove is a special kind of evil.  The Monster hates everything about it.  Horrible parking, horrible stores, worse people.  Remember that awesome Farmer’s Market?  Yea, The Grove ruined it.  Also, The Grove sucks huge amounts of donkey balls.

But The Monster had to try out Short Order.  The pain starts on Fairfax around Pico.  Traffic snarls.  An amazing doucheball pulls up beside The Monster blasting Ice, Ice Baby.  He’s also in a Bentley convertible.  With a smoking hot woman who may be giving him a hand job.  Check that, she is definitely giving him a handjob as he sings along to Ice, Ice Baby in a Bentley convertible.  The Monster blames The Grove.

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HUNGRY?

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REVIEW: BOMBAY CAFE

Short story.  The Monster wants Indian.  He goes to Bombay Café.  He gets chicken tikka masala and naan for lunch.  It costs him $26.82.

It’s not terribly good but it is terribly expensive.

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REVIEW: SUN HA JANG

You love duck.  You crave Korean BBQ.  You have one option.  Sun Ha Jang.  In a brightly lit strip mall in Koreatown is this haven for those cravin’ duck.  Never mind the language barrier and skip past the rest of the menu, for you have arrived at your temple.

Soon you will be in duck heaven as the sizzling morsels of bird simmer alongside whole cloves of radiant garlic.  The room becomes a pungent dream of spicy kimchi, laughing Koreans and tasty beer.   Your eyes dilate and your heartbeat quickens, the meat is turning golden hues announcing it’s almost go time.  And then the duck is ready and you prepare to eat your prize wrapped in bonchon goodness.

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REVIEW: THE SHERBOURNE

The Sherbourne has a spud mixologist.  The Monster will repeat.  The Sherbourne has a spud mixologist.

Intrigued?

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REVIEW: NAPA ROSE

Mere minutes from Disneyland at the Grand Californian Hotel, Napa Rose is an adult haven away from the maddening yap of countless misbehaved kids high on sugar and seeing Mickey and even worse parents who just want to escape and have a drink.  Generally considered the best restaurant in the area, it’s a beautiful room, Californian art deco from which pleasant servers doll out overpriced but proficient food from the open kitchen.

The Monsters are going to see Andrea Bocelli and even though Disneyland scares the bejeezus out of The Monster (been once, never again) there aren’t many other options in the area for adult food.  Just getting to the restaurant The Monster sees scores of children whose parents have obviously given up.  While The Monster doesn’t yet have children, he’s pretty sure when he does watching them beat each other over the head with a large stick (and laughing about it) won’t be part of the program.

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REVIEW: AL GELATO

All hail Al Gelato.  Decadently delicious food, great gelato and desserts, friendly people and they have adopted to this century and now accept credit cards!  There is not much to dislike save the weird techno blasting The Monster’s eardrums into submission and the dearth of parking on this stretch of Robertson.

It’s a mostly nondescript space with inside and outside seating, letting the gelato and desserts behind the counter be the rightful stars of the show.  They must be doing something right, placards on the table proudly announce they have over one hundred five star reviews on Yelp.

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