REVIEW: RYOKO’S

Late night, The Monster is in need of sustenance.  Enter Ryoko’s.  Looks like a dive bar, jams incredibly loud tunes, clientele sports piercings and purple hair while wearing three piece suits and it is ultimately a sushi bar for the party set open late into the eve. 

Ryoko’s is a spot The Monster has found himself in before while visiting San Francisco and vaguely remembers enjoying.  Vaguely due to the high amounts of alcohol invariably consumed.  Perhaps tonight he’ll remember what he eats.

A shit-ton of food is ordered.  It’s a bacchanal, an orgy of epicures all shouting out orders.  The waiter looks at us like we’re crazy.  We are.  Deal with it.  There is sake.  And beer.  And water for the heartburn.

The food goes from sublime to dirty.  Very little consistency.  That spicy yakitori sucks donkey balls.  The garlic tuna is hydrogen bomb good.  Pretty soon the meal becomes less about eating and more about downing beer and sake.  Conversation trumps consumption.

The food continuously arrives as if in a hyper-dream.  Laughter fills the space between bites.  Sometimes the food is so bad that it must be dumped from the memory banks.  Other times it is worthy of pause and the table round admires the acumen displayed.

Ultimately Ryoko is meant as theater for your party, a colorful kaleidoscope to enter into on nights when you know the clock will strike much later than it should and you will still be engaged in poppycock conversation with your mates when you should be merrily dreaming instead.

Why go?  You look dazzlingly fly and are stupendously engaging.  Also, it’s late and you’re hungry.

Monster rating: 2½/5 Monsters

619 Taylor Street
San Francisco, CA 94102

(415) 775-1028

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2 Comments

Filed under Reviews, Ryoko (San Francisco)

2 responses to “REVIEW: RYOKO’S

  1. Nikki Schwartz

    Sorry Feeble One,

    I must criticize your lackluster ways: Not to be mean or critical just to be critical, but because when I read people’s uneducated unedited opinions spewed out here all up in the interweb for all the ignorant masses to spoon up, and take as sound information, I get itchy to harpoon back. Especially, while the little people, the mom and pop restaurants are fighting tooth and nail to stay in the black, in this wretched economy, and some knock off chump with no concept of food criticism no matter how fluffy and obnoxious they make themselves out to be, get’s on his soap box and takes a marketable stance that inevitable is outrageously off the mark and often at the expense of these tiny operations doing everything they can to create business. You should stick with what you know, throwing money at other’s creative projects.

    -You don’t know how to take a proper food picture for starters.
    -Your food, wine and spirit diction and overall acumen, and neurotic ‘non-monster’ like alias are high-larious.
    -Your laundry list of food affinities limits your ability to understand or venture through a real food experience. How could you be considered a ravenous creature when you can’t even palate an egg?…One of the most sublime and fundamental pieces/assets of cooking! A coddled egg, a sunny side up egg, a soft omelet, a poached egg, a soft boiled egg, a simple custard all are necessary to understand and appreciate the large majority of cuisines throughout this big crazy world. From Balut to quail eggs bleeding over empress rice… you miss the boat.
    -The Zagat guide means nothing in the food world and is a silly guide book to take up! Neither you nor they help make consumers understand what’s good eats in LA.
    -You’re a film producer with no concept of being a restauranteur, chef, critical diner, food critic, or public informant. Having money and having the ability to dine out every hour hardly means you know anything about this business.

    Just for you to know, I have no connection to what you’ve written, I was just recommended by an acquaintance at a ‘Coffee’ shop (If you can’t wax about something so integral to the dining experience like Coffee why would anyone listen to you?) to read your blog if I was a true ‘foodie.’ HA! Boy did you have him fooled.

    Why do people insist on pretending like they are an authority on something when they have no perception of making sound judgements.

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