The Monster has no idea why he returns to Szechwan Restaurant. It’s dirty and dingy. It’s as if the owners moved in and brought with them all their accumulated crap. Boxes of junk, old telephone books and…is that…an oxygen tank? An empty, sad fish tank greets you when you walk in. The rest rooms are a dark and dangerous affair. The wait staff is curt. That’s being kind. The food is best described as approaching mediocre.

And yet, here The Monster sits.

They start you off with a “salad.” It contains lettuce. There are also crunchy noodles. The “dressing” if you will is a watery mess. So you get a crunchy, watery start to your meal. Lovely. The Monster finishes it.

Then there is the hot and sour soup. It’s neither terribly hot nor sour. It also lacks much in the way of taste. Awesome. The Monster finishes it.

Finally, there is the case of the garlic chicken. This is faulty advertising because while this gloppy entree has taste, it lacks any discernible garlic flavor. Joyous. The Monster finishes it.

So, why does The Monster return?

This sums it up nicely.